8 Causes Of Self Hatred

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SELF HATRED-Turning all your negative emotions and feelings on yourself sometimes for mistakes you have made, but most times out of the all or nothing interpretation of life events, and experiences. 

SELF HATRED is a bad idea all day because you should be the last man/woman standing in support of you. The question remains, how does one start self-hating? What are some of the causes?

The list below is not exhaustive, but it shed light on how you started hating yourself.

01-Negative Inner Critic -We are constantly having an internal dialogue and conversation with ourselves in our hearts and minds. For an emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy individual, the conversation is characterized by self-compassion, love, and self-care. Self dismissal, guilt-tripping, and self-shaming characterize the inner conversation of an emotionally, mentally, and spiritually unhealthy individual.

If you're thinking to yourself, "I detest myself," you probably have a harsh inner critic who continuously criticizes you. This critical voice may make comparisons to other people or tell you that you are insufficient.

You may believe that you are different from others and that you do not measure up. When you're around other people, these beliefs may make you feel like an outcast or a fraud.


The inner critic is like an adversary who is out to sabotage your success. If you listen to this voice in your head long enough, it will become filled with self-hatred, as well as paranoia and suspicion. Because your inner critic doesn't want you to succeed, it will criticize you even when you do something wonderful. Here are some examples of what your inner critic might say:

"Who do you think you are to do that?" says the narrator."No matter how hard you try, you will never succeed.""Just like everything else, you're going to screw this up.""Why would someone like you like that? There has to be a reason for this."
"You can't put your trust in anyone. They're only going to disappoint you."
"You should probably eat that dessert. You'll only end up eating too much in the end."

If you have a voice like this in your head, you may come to believe that these critical thoughts are true. You might eventually believe the voice if it tells you that you are useless, ignorant, or unattractive. 

These beliefs lead to the belief that you are unworthy of love, success, confidence, or the opportunity to make mistakes. You give that critical inner voice more strength the more you listen to it.

 Furthermore, you may begin to project your own anxieties onto others, making you distrustful, anxious, and unable to receive love and kindness. If this describes you, you've probably been listening to your inner critic for a long time.

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 Where did that pessimistic inner voice originate from? It's unlikely that you came up with that voice in your brain on your own. Rather, the negative inner critic is frequently the result of previous poor life events. These might be memories from your youth with your parents, Peer bullying is a common occurrence, as is the end result of a terrible relationship.


02-Childhood Experiences-Did you have parents that were harsh on you as a child? Or did you have a parent that appeared anxious, furious, or uptight, making you feel as if you had to walk on eggshells around them? If that's the case, you've probably learned to be quiet and blend in. Abuse, neglect, being over-controlled, or being chastised as a child can all contribute to the formation of a negative inner voice. 


03-Unhealthy Relationships-Not all critical inner voices start when you're a kid. If you were in a relationship or friendship with someone who did the same things, it's possible that the experience triggered a negative inner voice. This might even be a work connection with a coworker or boss who is always putting you down or making you feel incompetent. Any form of connection has the ability to set a bad tone in your thoughts and develop an uncontrollable negative inner voice.

04-A Victim of Bullying-Have you been bullied at school, at work, or in another relationship? Even short-term connections with people can leave lasting impressions on your self-concept and self-esteem. If you have flashback recollections of seemingly unimportant situations with bullies from your past or present, it's possible that the event has left an indelible mark on your memory. If your negative inner voice repeats the statements of real-life bullies, you need to do more work to release rather than absorb such views.

05-Traumatic Experiences-Have you ever been in a vehicle accident, had a physical attack, or lost a substantial amount of money? If this is the case, the loss may leave you wondering, "Why me?" This might lead to emotions of guilt or remorse, especially if you believe you were to blame.

06-Triggers in the Environment-Things that happen in your daily life may trigger you long after the initial events have occurred. A new coworker, for example, can bring up a poor professional experience from the past, or a new acquaintance might bring up a horrible childhood memory.  

If you find yourself having an emotional reaction to a situation that seems out of proportion to what has occurred, you may need to put in more effort to figure out what is preventing you from moving forward. Many people find that working with a therapist or other mental health expert makes this process go more smoothly.

07-Self-Esteem is a negative self-perception.-Do you have low self-esteem, a bad self-image, or a negative self-concept? Small difficulties might be amplified into much greater ones when you have self-hatred thoughts. You could believe that the negative things that happen to you are a reflection of your own "badness."

You're at a party, for example, and you deliver a joke that falls flat. Your unfavorable self-concept may cause a spiral into negative ideas such as "everyone hates me" and "I'll never be able to make any friends," rather than rolling with the punches and moving on.


08-Mental Health Problems-A mental health issue such as depression or anxiety can also cause feelings of self-hatred. Depression, for example, can produce feelings of hopelessness, remorse, and humiliation, all of which can make you feel inadequate. Unfortunately, because of the nature of depression, you are unable to see past this cognitive bias and identify that your melancholy is causing you to think this way. The more your situation impacts your ideas, the more likely you are to accept this negative perspective of yourself as your reality. This might make you feel as though you are unworthy and unwelcome. It's possible that you'll feel alone and distinct from the rest of the group.

               Read Also: 13 Self Destructive  Outcomes of Self-Hatred 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm, Live Chat Me at Inside Out Live Chat  or Call +254724521603 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 999

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.



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