10 Self Destructive Ways Toxic Parenting Has Manifested In Your Adult Life


Toxic parenting impairs a person's personality inhibiting their ability to enter into and succeed in healthy relationships. Most victims of toxic parenting, suffer from broken relationships, abusive unions, and unhealthy friendships. Unless these victims come into an awakening and awareness of how their past is manifesting into their adult life, this dysfunctionality gets transferred to their children and the vicious cycle continues.

Unfortunately, most people suffering from broken relationships fail to see a connection between their insecure attachment with their parents and their lack of intimacy with their adult partners. In this article, I will share 10 ways you have been manifesting insecure attachment in your present adult relationships.

01-Destructive or Abusive Relationships-If you constantly find yourself in relationships that are draining you're emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, are infusing negative energy and vibes there is a likelihood that you are reeling from the effects of toxic parenting.  

02-Being Anxious Preoccupied-Do you feel afraid of your loved ones pulling away and constantly seeking more closeness in your relationships? Do you think that getting too close to someone may cause them to hurt and/or forsake you? This emotional and mental preoccupation inhibits intimacy in relationships with your spouse, children, and even colleagues.

03-Expecting the Worst From People-Do you assume you will receive the worst interactions and treatment from others and the world in general? Having been deprived of emotional, mental, and physical safety, you have learned to expect no lesser treatment from others.

04-Lack of Self  Awareness-Do you have a hard time knowing who you are, what you feel, and what you want? Inside out Self-awareness helps you to relate with the outside world from a space of confidence, courage, and compassion. Apparently, someone who was raised by toxic parents/primary caregivers, they have a skewed and distorted sense of self, which renders them fearful, timid, and laid back as they relate with others.

05-Suffer From Imposter Syndrome-Are you afraid that if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you? Imposter syndrome is a condition in which you distrust your own talents and feel like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving individuals who struggle to accept their achievements. Many people question whether or not they are deserving of praise. Because you are afraid of rejection if people met the real you, you will unconsciously offer yourself to men or women who are more educated, more connected and earn more. Such a crop of people provides you with a space to be submissive and subservient.

06-Feel You Are a Fraud-Do you become nervous when you're successful because you're afraid someone will find out you're a fraud? You don't trust your capacity to engage in productive activities. Consequently, this brings hesitation and procrastination in some accepting offers which will expose your ability and capacity for fear of rejection and failure.

07-Getting angry or Sad Unnecessarily-Do you ever become enraged or depressed for no apparent reason? If the answer to this question is yes, then all signs are pointing to an insecure attachment with your primary caregivers or parents.

08-You are a Perfectionist-Although perfectionism is typically viewed as a desirable feature that boosts your chances of success, it can also lead to self-defeating attitudes or habits that make it more difficult to attain your objectives. It has also been linked to stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.

09-Unable to Unwind and Relax-Is it difficult for you to relax or have a good time? You often feel guilty about wasting time spent off work or domestic chores. The script you adopted from your parents was relaxing and enjoyments are for lazy people.

10-Taking After Your Parents-Despite your best intentions, do you find yourself behaving “just like your parents”?

I would like to suggest you undertake the following 10 Questions on how the effects of toxic parenting could be showing up in your adult life?


  1. Use a [YES]/ [NO] To respond to the following questions

  2. QUESTION01. Do you find yourself in destructive or abusive relationships?

  3. QUESTION2. Do you believe that if you get too close to someone, they will hurt
    and/or abandon you?

  4. QUESTION03. Do you expect the worst from people? From life in general?

  5. QUESTION4. Do you have a hard time knowing who you are, what you feel, and what
    you want?

  6. QUESTION05. Are you afraid that if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you?

  7. QUESTION6. Do you feel anxious when you’re successful and frightened that someone
    will find out you’re a fraud?

  8. QUESTION07. Do you get angry or sad for no apparent reason?

  9. QUESTION8. Are you a perfectionist?

  10. QUESTION9. Is it difficult for you to relax or have a good time?

  11. QUESTION10. Despite your best intentions, do you *nd yourself behaving “just like
    your parents”?