Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life-TOXIC PARENTS

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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents — and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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 Who is a toxic parent, what are the signs of a toxic parent, how do toxic parents act, what do toxic parents look like? what are toxic mom traits?


[Who is a Toxic Parent] -From time to time, all parents are lacking. With my children, I made some dreadful blunders that caused them (and me) a lot of misery. No parent can be present emotionally all of the time. It's absolutely common for parents to scream at their kids now and again.

Every parent has moments when they become overly controlling. And the majority of parents spank their children, albeit infrequently. Are they cruel or inappropriate parents as a result of these blunders? Obviously not.

 Parents are merely human, and they have their own issues to deal with. And most children can cope with an occasional eruption of rage if they are surrounded by plenty of love and understanding.

However, many parents' unfavorable behavior patterns are consistent and pervasive throughout their children's lives. The parents are the ones who cause the problems. The word poisonous kept coming through my head as I tried to come up with a phrase to express the common ground that these abusive parents share.

The emotional damage inflicted by these parents spreads throughout a child's being like a chemical toxin, and as the child grows, so does the suffering. What better word to describe parents who continue to inflict chronic trauma, abuse, and denigration on their children, and in most cases, even after their children have grown up, than toxic?

There are certain exceptions to this definition's "ongoing" or "repetitive" features. Sexual or physical abuse can be so horrific that even a single incident can leave a person emotionally scarred.

Unfortunately, one of our most important abilities, parenting, is still largely a seat-of-the-pants affair. Our parents learned it mostly from their parents, who may or may not have done a good job.

Many of the time-honored methods that have been passed down from generation to generation are merely lousy counsel disguised as wisdom (remember "spare the rod, spoil the child?").

What Toxic Parents Do To Their Children-Whether adult offspring of toxic parents were beaten as children or left too much alone as adults, sexually assaulted or treated as idiots, overprotected or plagued by guilt, they virtually all suffer from the same symptoms: low self-esteem, which leads to self-destructive conduct.

They almost all feel useless, unlovable, and inadequate in some way. These emotions are exacerbated by the fact that children of toxic parents often blame themselves for their parents' maltreatment, whether consciously or unconsciously. 

It's simpler for a helpless, reliant child to feel guilty for doing something "wrong" to earn Daddy's wrath than it is for the child to accept the terrifying reality that Daddy, the protector, isn't trustworthy.


[Taking Your Psychological Pulse]-It's not always straightforward to determine whether or not your parents are toxic. Many people have tumultuous interactions with their parents. Simply because your parents are emotionally abusive does not mean they are emotionally abusive. 

Many people find themselves on the precipice, unsure whether they were treated unfairly or whether they are being "oversensitive." The following questionnaire was created to assist you in taking the first steps toward resolving your issue.

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  2. ANSWER the following Questions -[A]-Your Relationship with Your Parents When You Were a Child:

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  3. QUESTION01. Did your parents tell you you were bad or worthless? Did they call you
    insulting names? Did they constantly criticize you?

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  4. QUESTION02. Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did they beat you
    with belts, brushes, or other objects?

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  5. QUESTION03. Did your parents get drunk or use drugs? Did you feel confused,
    uncomfortable, frightened, hurt, or ashamed by this?

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  6. QUESTION04. Were your parents severely depressed or unavailable because of
    emotional difficulties or mental or physical illness?

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  7. QUESTION05. Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems?

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  8. QUESTION6. Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Were
    you sexually molested in any way?

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  9. QUESTION07. Were you frightened of your parents a great deal of the time?

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  10. QUESTION8. Were you afraid to express anger at your parents?

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