Understanding Cognitive Distortions LESSON05


Distorted thinking is creating thoughts that are not based on the whole truth. Such thoughts allow the status quo to remain, but hold you hostage to a miserable past or present. You have to constantly realize that your thoughts have the power to create a reality of abundance of love, faith, hope, and expectation or create a reality full of an abundance of hopelessness, hate, fear, and pessimism.

In LESSON 05 On Understanding the COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS, we would look at Distortion number 09 and Number 10. 


It's thinking that everything others do is about you. So you think that if anything bad happens it's your fault, or if someone's upset it's because of you right! You blame yourself for circumstances that are beyond your control. 

This is taking things personally, right! You incorrectly might assume that you've been intentionally excluded, or targeted. So for example a mom might think oh if my son misbehaves, it must be because I'm a bad mother. Or When you take things personally you think, oh if my boss yells at me it must be because I'm messing up. Or if the cashier is rude to me they must not be respecting me. 

When in reality your boss might be yelling because they have poor management skills. Or maybe the cashier's dog died that day right! We don't really know why people are acting the way they do. But it's false to assume that everything they do is about us. This is a true story about one of my clients on who I based this mishmash to James off of. 

So one of my clients said this when he worked at the register taking orders. When people came in and said I need three cheeseburgers, three fries, three drinks, you know. Anytime they started off with the words I need, he felt like they were being rude. He would think in his head you don't need cheeseburgers. You want cheeseburgers.

 And so this made him mad every time they did it. Which was like of course dozens of times a day right! Or if a customer came in and treated him badly he would take it personally. He would think you know what did I ever do to you? Sometimes it made him mad, sometimes it made him discouraged. 

But he had a hard time seeing that sometimes, you know customers are usually just dealing with their own stuff. Their own stress. And it wasn't about him. Taking things personally, makes you feel guilty, overwhelmed, out of control, burdened, helpless and it can lead to depression and anxiety. 

Number 10 Unreal Ideal-

 This is the plague of social media. We look at others and we compare ourselves unfairly. So comparisons to others will always let you down. The unreal ideal sounds like Susan seems to handle this job just fine, how come I'm struggling? Or bob seems to have it all put together. He's got the perfect job, a perfect wife you know. I'm such a loser. James would compare himself to all his old high school friends. 

Especially the ones that he saw on social media. He would tell me things like they were all married. He would say they all graduated college. They all served missions for their church. They all had great jobs. In his distorted thinking, their lives were perfect and his life was the only mess. Comparing ourselves to others usually leaves us feeling like we're never good enough. 

Like we're an imposter, we may feel shame or discouragement. We may feel broken or like we have to constantly compete to be good enough

Title of the document SUGGESTED COURSES Title of the document SUGGESTED BOOKS Title of the document LESSON06


  1. Congratulations on attending this LESSON05 on Cognitive Distortions. Here is a short introspective and retrospective exercise, on how you could have been applying these distortions unconsciously much to your misery.👇

  2. LETTING OUT-Looking at your life in the recent past, what experiences have you been going through? (Use the reply button to SHARE👇✅

  3. LETTING GO-Which of the cognitive distortions above, have you applied in the recent past, at home, at the workplace, etc.
    What EFFECT has the use of such a cognitive distortion had on your RELATIONSHIPS, CAREER, and BUSINESS?
    (Use the reply Button to share 👇✅

  4. LETTING IN-What different outcome would you receive in future similar circumstances if you learned how to counter the distortions you have been using much to your misery and pain?👇 ✅