Understanding Cognitive Distortions-LESSON04

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In social situations, you might think I must be an awkward person. There's a difference between feeling anxious and actually acting awkward. Another thing people might say is like I must be stupid. I am stupid when they just feel stupid. 

They feel dumb, right! James felt discouraged and worried about his future ability to succeed. He felt hopeless. So he decided to believe that it was hopeless that he would never be able to do much. Emotional reasoning basically takes any emotion and it makes it bigger. Okay! Number 07 is 

07-Labeling THINKING

Labeling is taking behavior, and turning it into an identity. This is putting a name or label on something. 

So instead of thinking you know, he made a mistake, you might label your neighbor as a complete idiot. Or you might think that because you've made mistakes, that I'm a complete loser. I'm broken. I'm a failure, or you might label others, right! He's a complete jerk. She's a monster etc. Or if a kid makes a bad choice you might say oh they're a bad kid etc.

 When James wasn't able to find a new job right away, he started to say things like this. He'd say oh I'm such a loser, I'll never be successful. Remember James was in his mid-20s. He had his entire life to learn the skills. He needed to be successful. But he's already labeled himself as broken, and as a failure.

 Labeling is all about creating Hopelessness. If something is our identity then there's nothing we can do about it. We're stuck right! But the truth is, we aren't what we feel or do. We all have an immense capacity to learn, and grow, and change, and improve. 

And this is why cognitive distortions are so harmful they create a Reality where change isn't possible. They make you feel trapped and hopeless. When the reality is that, with the right help or with the right skills or support or effort you can change your life. You can live a good life. Okay, number 

08 Mental Filtering.

Mental filtering is only seeing one side of a situation, usually the negative. You tend to filter out the positive. So, for example, you ignore the good things your boss does and you feel constantly annoyed at him. Or you minimize all the good things that you do, and you only dwell on your mistakes.

 So you can see this a lot with how women often take compliments, right! Often they immediately downplay it by saying oh you're so kind. But if someone gives them criticism they take it to heart. And they dwell on it and they worry about it for days. James would often dwell on his failures, especially with women. 

And he would remember his mistakes over and over, especially with one girl who he really liked. And he would just keep thinking about what he did wrong. And this led him to feel like he was a really bad person.

 When in actuality he was quite kind. And he tried to make the people around him happy. And that was just one relationship that didn't work out. Mental filtering can make you feel like a bad person or it can make you more depressed or see the world more

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4 comments:

  1. Congratulations on attending this LESSON04 on Cognitive Distortions. Here is a short introspective and retrospective exercise, on how you could have been applying these distortions unconsciously much to your misery.👇

    ReplyDelete
  2. LETTING OUT-Looking at your life in the recent past, what experiences have you been going through? (Use the reply button to SHARE👇✅

    ReplyDelete
  3. LETTING GO-Which of the cognitive distortions above, have you applied in the recent past, at home, at the workplace, etc.
    What EFFECT has the use of such a cognitive distortion had on your RELATIONSHIPS, CAREER, and BUSINESS?
    (Use the reply Button to share 👇✅

    ReplyDelete
  4. LETTING IN-What different outcome would you receive in future similar circumstances if you learned how to counter the distortions you have been using much to your misery and pain?👇 ✅

    ReplyDelete