How to know the right time to effectively communicate with your teenager



So I am a dad of a 13-year-old girl. She is into what you call a pre-teen period or moment. And I've experienced the same challenges that parents during that period do experience and I've accepted the challenge.

 I'm open-minded and constantly growing into it and we're having a good time even when I have to admit moments, there are moments that I'm like oh gosh.

I wish I had the power to change it and, to revert her back into her you know that childhood years those beautiful moments between a daughter and her father. 

You know those days she'll come and sit on my lap and just be there you know doing nothing but just watching me and listening to iam saying and watching what I'm doing. 

But now it's not there anymore. So it's my turn now to do that it's my time to observe, it's my time to listen to her, and that doesn't come without a struggle isn't it. 

Now one of the...challenging moments for me has been when the right time for you to talk to your daughter is. Or for you to explain a certain concept, or for you to basically have a talk with her and help her see life the way you're seeing it when is the right time? Because

I've found out that even, as young as she is she owns her own world. I don't own her world and she has the keys to her world and she's the one who decides to open her world to whoever she wants. 

Now you'll expect as a father that she ought to open her world to you automatically, dramatically but that is not the case. 

So the question is as a father and the question to you as a mother... when do you know is the right time for you to engage your daughter to engage your child? Because I've tried. 

There are moments I just have so much but it's not the right time. So and anytime I like to overlook that reality, I'm always met with resistance, I'm always met with the rebuff I'm always met with like I don't want to talk about this.

 So this is what I'm constantly learning. That I need to let my daughter be in charge of her world and I let uh I need to let her know that I trust her with her. 

That is the only way she's free to open up her world to me so that I can get in and empathize with her and sympathize with her. 

And show her love, show affection uh which she needs. But if I was not to affirm her in her own world then I miss that moment. 

So let me hear what you do as a mother, as a father in your case. But for me, that has been my highlight of parenting. 

That is recognizing that she's in charge of a world, and I wait at a time where she's opening a world to me then I get in and um you know share my world with her, or share my perspective with her. 

And it has always been a good moment when that happens thank you

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